


Torn

by BettyHT



Series: Never Submit or Yield [3]
Category: Bonanza
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:00:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197119
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BettyHT/pseuds/BettyHT
Summary: It’s a cattle drive as Adam tries to find his place again but there are problems as Joe has to adjust to a new order too and there are others who decide to try to take advantage of the situation.





	Torn

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

Torn

Chapter 1

"I wish he'd never come back."

"Now, Joe, you know you say that all the time and you don't mean it. Ya gotta stop saying that though. Just because you're mad, don't mean ya gotta say things that would hurt our older brother if he heard them, and he's heard them plenty, I'm afraid."

"Well, what should I say when I don't want him around. He just wants to boss me and interfere in what I'm doing all the time. He doesn't accept that I'm a man now and can make up my own mind about things."

"Joe, you know in your heart he was right about that horse. Ya, maybe one more ride and you woulda had him, but maybe you woulda ended up tossed into the fence too. You're tired, that horse is tired, and both of ya was upset. Adam just wanted you to wait and walk him some to calm him down. That's just what he's doing with that horse now. Now ifn you was to go back there in a calmer state, mebbe Adam would let ya have one more ride today. But if you plan to go back there like ya is now, don't bother."

"Ya, cause Adam's always right and wouldn't let me ride him. Well I don't need his help. I can handle things on my own. I'm gonna ask Pa if he'll put me in charge of the horses, so Adam can go do all those big important things he's always gotta do when there's real work to be done."

"Now, that ain't fair, Joe. Adam pulls his weight around here just like everyone else."

"Ya, when he ain't in Sacramento or San Francisco, or sitting in some bank or lawyer's office, or behind Pa's desk."

Adam was walking up to the stable when he heard those voices. He had heard some version of this argument so many times that he was thinking he could write the dialogue for them if they got stuck. Instead of going in and escalating the situation, he walked to the house. His father would not likely be angry with him at least and wouldn't yell, except when he got inside, that is exactly what happened.

"We lost both those lumber bids you submitted yesterday. How could you have done an equally bad job on both?" Ben stood at his desk obviously fuming with both letters in his hand.

"Pa, I submitted bids based on our expenses and because of the delivery deadlines with penalties built in, those bids had to be high enough to cover any problems we might encounter as well as hiring and training more men. There'll be other bids we can make. It's not like we needed those two that much."

"Oh, we don't, huh? How exactly are we going to pay for that new breeding stock then?"

"Pa, we can wait till August for that stock. Those cows are hardy and will withstand the winter, and we'll still have some of their calves in the spring to build up the herd."

"I know that's what you've been telling me, but I wanted those cows here fattening up on our grass long before then. Did you lose those contracts on purpose so you could have your way?"

Adam's temper had been rising especially after the altercation with Joe earlier had put him on edge, and that last statement was too much. He turned and walked out before he said things that would be hard to take back. He heard his father calling after him and saying he was sorry, but at the moment he needed to get away.

Adam was striding toward the stable when Joe walked out. He hardly acknowledged Joe who passed him without a word but turned back in wonder. Joe had been sure Adam would say something to him. Joe shrugged and continued on into the house to make his request of his father. His temper had cooled and he was prepared to make a logical argument for being put in charge of the horses. Unfortunately for Joe, Ben was in no mood to listen to a logical argument especially one that would alter Adam's position on the ranch. He couldn't do that after the things he had just said, nor could he find it in himself to explain to Joe truly why he said no. He fell back into the old argument that Adam had always been in charge of the horses and breaking them. Joe notched up another reason to resent his oldest brother.

In the stable, Adam grabbed his tack to saddle up Sport. Hoss was sitting on a bale of hay watching him.

"What are you so all-fired mad about now?"

"Hoss, I just need to get away for a bit. I'll take a ride to cool down."

"Now, Adam, you didn't get into it with Joe again, didja? I just had him cooled down a mite so I hope you didn't go set him off again. You gotta learn how to talk with him, you know. Not always swing your weight around. It ain't always about you being right."

"Do you think it would really matter? He just doesn't want me to tell him anything. He doesn't feel he needs me around here at all. After today, it doesn't feel like anyone does."

Adam said the last part mostly to himself. Hoss asked him what he said, and he replied it was nothing. Hoss was irritated with that, stood, and walked out.

"Sport, I promise I will take it easy on you on this ride. I need at least one who is happy to see me around."

Dinner that evening was somber. No one seemed to want to make a statement that might rile up the others and start an argument. Hop Sing served the food without his usual banter and fired some glares at Ben who seemed oblivious to them. Hoss finally asked why Hop Sing was mad at Ben who proclaimed he had no idea why. Hop Sing had heard the argument that afternoon and was upset at what Ben had said to Adam. He knew that such words caused wounds and an apology did not heal them. There had been too much of that kind of talk lately and he feared what the long term effect would be. Just the day before, Joseph had made a remark about how Adam couldn't keep a woman even when he was engaged to her. That conversation had been lighthearted until then but there was no going back when such words were used to strike out.

After dinner, Adam picked up the book he had been reading and headed to his room. Hoss sat and stared at the fire after adding some logs to it. Joe picked up his book to read but anyone could see he wasn't actually reading it. Ben sat with the newspaper that had come with the letters that had so disappointed him. No one wanted to talk and everyone needed to talk. Hoss finally couldn't stand the stress and started.

"Pa, what we gonna do about all this? Everyone's snapping at each other. It ain't a happy place to live, let me tell ya."

"I know. I snapped at Adam earlier and now he doesn't even want to be in the same room with me." Ben was feeling very guilty about what he had said. He had slipped into that trap that Joe often was caught in. He had let his temper get out of hand and said things he didn't mean just to cause hurt because he was feeling hurt.

Sitting in the red leather chair with his head leaning back, Hoss was the picture of misery as he recalled how he had laid into Joe first and then into Adam. No wonder it was so depressing around here.

Leaning back against the armrest of the settee, Joe was having similar thoughts. He had overreacted he knew when Adam said he should either take a break or make that last ride the final one for the day. He was so upset with that darn stubborn horse that he had struck out in his anger. As usual, Joe's temper burned very hotly and then dissipated quickly. He didn't hold a grudge. What he did have was guilt. He had lashed out at Adam and then argued with Hoss.

Ben had a few thoughts on how to defuse the situation and started laying them out.

"Joe, I will let you take charge of the current contract with the Army. There are twenty-one horses that need to be ready by the end of the month. There's been good progress so that should not be a problem. Hoss, we need someone to take charge of moving the herds from the lower to the upper pastures. I want you to do that. You'll probably have to hire a few more men for the summer. Could you do that tomorrow?"

Hoss was pleased with his assignment but worried about the effect of these changes.

"Pa, I can do it, but ain't this gonna upset Adam? He's been in charge of all that?"

"Well, in the morning after I apologize again for the things I said, I want to get him to take over the timber and lumber operations. We have too many cooks for everything we're doing. If we have one in charge of each part, that should help with reducing the friction. I want both of you to be more careful in what you say to each other too, especially you, Joseph. That remark yesterday about Laura was cruel."

Joe hung his head. He was elated about the horses, but he knew his father was right about the other thing, and he felt ashamed for what he had said. He was trying to hurt Adam when he said it so he had no excuse either. He planned to make an apology for everything in the morning. He had lost track of how many times he had had to say he was sorry to his oldest brother and resolved to try to do better so he wouldn't have to do it so often.

There were other issues that concerned Hoss though.

"Pa, what about things like cattle drives, fence mending, and branding and such?"

"The cattle drives can continue as they have because each of you has a specific job on the trail. As for the other work, we'll need to sit down and talk about it. Maybe we just need to agree to help each other and work together on jobs like that. Let's talk at breakfast. It's gotten late, and we have a lot of work to do tomorrow."

Ben checked Adam's door as he went to his room. The crack under the door showed only darkness so Adam had already turned down the lamp. At least he was getting some sleep was his only thought as he turned to his room. Inside Adam's bedroom though, he was not getting the sleep he so much wanted. He stared instead at the darkness and replayed events from the last few weeks that had resulted in so much tension and hard feelings. He thought again and again of things he could have done differently and what he needed to do to try to improve things if he could. It was hours before he fell into an exhausted sleep and then he awoke as dawn first was dawning. He dressed and headed to the stable to do chores for physical labor always helped him relieve stress. He pulled the tools he needed and set them next to Sport's stall. He planned on doing all the chores hoping to start the day off well.

Feeling a pounding suddenly in his head and a warm body pressed to his side, Adam opened his eyes to a new day. It took him some time to realize he had been dreaming. It had been so vivid and so real. The argument the day before about the upcoming cattle drive has bothered him far more than he had been willing to admit to Grace the previous night when she asked him about it. Now he felt her stirring and realized his restlessness with the dream had probably awakened her and that made him feel bad. She did need her rest and he had stolen some of it from her. Sadness made him breathe deeply to avoid the tears too for Hoss had seemed so alive in his dream and so much like he had been when Adam had last seen him.

Lying next to Adam with her head on his shoulder, Grace could feel his pounding heart as she awoke. She took some time to be fully awake before she said anything to Adam, but it was clear he had had another bad dream. He wasn't having nightmares because these dreams did not cause him to be fearful, but he was often sad and upset when he awoke. He had been reluctant to talk about them saying all the turmoil they had endured was causing them. However, this was the seventh night in a row with such an ending; a full week of bad dreams. Adam was looking as tired as he probably felt. She needed to get him to talk.

"Will you tell me about this dream?"

"It was just about stuff that used to bother me. Years ago. I don't know why it's all coming up now."

"Don't you? For a week, you've been arguing with your father and with Joe about this cattle drive. For a week, you've been having bad dreams. I'm not stupid. These two things are related. You promised to share your life with me, but you're shutting me out now, and it hurts."

Grace felt his arm tighten around her even as his other hand began to massage his forehead. She knew he was very troubled by this cattle drive but had no idea why. Not knowing him until he was forty made some things very difficult. He was reticent by nature, but she had not realized how hard it could be to get him to open up about things that were bothering him. He wanted to handle everything himself. The last few mornings she had tried to get him closer to her with shared intimacy, but his response afterwards was that he didn't want to spoil the moment. Then he was up and dressed and gone before they could talk. This morning she was determined to hold him to the bed right next to her until he talked. So, as he slid one hand down to caress her back and moved the other to tip her head up for a kiss, she said no. The surprise on his face made her want to smile, but she knew that would be the worst thing to do at this point.

"I want to talk with you. You're not going to distract me by being romantic. It's time to talk. Why have your dreams been bothering you so much? And why won't you agree to boss this trail drive? I don't want the excuses you've been giving your father and Joe either. I want to know what's going on."

As Adam closed his eyes and rubbed the bridge of his nose, Grace relaxed a little. He was going to talk but was thinking through what he was going to say and how. She just rubbed her hand across his chest in a circular motion. She was trying to soothe him to make it easier to talk. She felt his breathing slow and knew he was getting control of his emotions. It was amazing what you could learn about another person in such a short time. When they had first become reacquainted, she had looked to his expressive face for clues to his thoughts and feelings. She had learned however to watch his hands, where they were and what they were doing. She also paid attention to how he positioned his body. For someone who held so much inside, he showed a lot with his whole self. She wasn't sure she should ever tell him how she knew sometimes what he was thinking. Let him think it was her feminine intuition. As he rolled on his side to look directly into her face, she knew he meant to tell her something very important to him.

"I've been dreaming of a lot of times when Joe and I argued and even fought when we were younger. He resented taking any kind of orders or advice from me. It was as if he resented the experience and knowledge I had because I was twelve years older than he was. He said a lot of things to hurt me intentionally then because he was trying to push me away. I know he loves me as a brother. But what will happen if I boss this drive? We're going to argue, and I don't want to fight him. I don't want to harm the relationship we have now, and Hoss isn't here to help."

"Can you switch roles? Can he boss it and you ramrod?"

"I wish we could. As little as I know of the terrain we will be crossing, I know even less about the men who will be working it. I haven't been back long enough to have earned their trust. So, I'll be the one lacking experience and knowledge this time. It will be a difficult relationship between Joe and me."

"Are you worried too that he will think less of you because you won't be able to do the job as well as you did many years ago?"

By the look on Adam's face, Grace knew that was true too. He was lacking confidence that he could do it and do it well enough. He had worked his way back into ranch business negotiating contracts and working out deals that were good business for the Ponderosa, but he did not have an area of responsibility like the others did. He handled most of the supervision of the lumber and timber operations but wasn't officially in charge of that. And working the trees was a lot different than working the cattle. He had been doing a lot of riding, but that wasn't at all like riding with a herd for as many as twelve hours a day every day.

"You need to do this, I think. You are a very capable man who has survived a terrible ordeal. You have suffered many losses, and yet here you are: a strong man, husband, son, brother, friend, and many other things. Men respect you, but right now you don't respect yourself enough. Take the challenge. What's the worst that could happen?"

"I could fail. I could make a mess of things."

"Really? With Joe and Candy there to help?"

"No. I just want to be able to do the job. Maybe Joe and I really have reversed roles. Now I want him to let me do it by myself." But he was smiling as he said it, and Grace knew he was joking finally which meant he had made a decision. He would boss the drive.

"Will you tell them at breakfast that you'll do it?"

"Gawd, woman, how do you read my mind like that?"

"I don't read your mind. I just listen and observe, and you tell me."

Rolling onto his back again, Adam pulled Grace with him. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

"Will you miss me?"

"Of course, I'll miss you, but there'll be Ben here, and Jamie, and Hop Sing. Hop Sing really fusses over me."

"I've noticed that. It's like he's going to be a grandfather too. I'll tell him you're sleeping in, and he'll fix something for you when you do get up."

"I can get up now."  
"There's no need, and you're still officially recuperating and you're also carrying our child. Rest is what the doctor ordered."

Grace would miss him terribly, but Adam needed to do this. Everyone seemed to think he had put his whole ordeal behind him, but she knew he hadn't. She knew it would take more time and hoped it wouldn't take as long for him as it did for her. But Adam had a loving wife and a loving family to help him. She had been alone. She prayed a little for him, and then rolled over and did what he had told her to do. She fell asleep easily with the comfort that Adam had found more peace of mind. She could only hope that it would work out well between him and Joe.

Chapter 2

Waking with bright sunlight illuminating the room, Grace dressed taking her time and reveling in the leisure she had been granted. She knew that in about seven months her life would be so full caring for their baby that she would find mornings like these only a fond memory. When she walked down the stairs, she saw Adam poring over maps with Joe and Candy as they were discussing a route for the drive. She knew that this was probably one of those things that made Adam so unsure of himself in this job. Being gone for six years, he would not know of changes that had occurred whether they were manmade or natural. They needed to go through mountain passes where the going was narrow so any barrier became a significant issue. The discussion among the three was very animated and she was gratified to see how involved Adam was in the discussion.

Because he was so involved in the discussion and thinking of how to reach their goal in the least amount of time, Adam did not see Grace approaching and jumped as she touched his arm. He turned quickly though and wrapped his arms around her and gave her a kiss. That didn't stop the others from teasing him though.

"Gosh, Candy, he's as skittish as a newborn colt. Is that what marriage does to a man?"

"Gees, Joe, not me, so it must be that Adam is a little afraid of his pretty wife. I think there's a term for that, isn't there?"

Grace could feel the tension in her husband as she stood with him.

"You boys played with fire when you were children, didn't you? Probably took all sorts of chances when you were playing?"

At Candy's puzzled look and Joe's look of dawning awareness, she nodded. They had not seen a temper display from Adam since his return, but the more he regained his former status, the more likely it could occur. She had not seen it either but remembered as did Joe of course how Adam could blow like a volcano when he was pushed enough. The object of his wrath might not see it coming though unless they were used to the warning signs and they were there now.

"Sweetheart, would you walk with me to the kitchen. You promised me that Hop Sing would fix a late breakfast for me, but if he's upset, I want you to say it's your fault. I don't want him angry with me."

Grateful for the chance to collect himself, Adam walked Grace to the kitchen where Hop Sing welcomed her with his usual smile for her. He began to set out fruit and biscuits for her, and put on a pan to prepare the rest of her meal. Adam got a fresh cup of coffee and thanked Hop Sing for caring for Grace so well. Hop Sing of course was very happy that these two especially appreciated what he did so it was never an imposition to help them out. Adam sipped his coffee and waited just a bit until heading back to work with Joe and Candy. He knew he had overreacted and was glad he had not said anything. Luckily Grace had been there to defuse the situation. He knew as he watched her eat that she could read him better than anyone had ever been able to do. Sometimes like now they could communicate without words, and that as much as anything confirmed to him every day that they had made the right decision when they married. If it was possible for two people to be made for one another, then they were those two. He touched her shoulder and bent down to give her a kiss as she turned toward him. Then with a smile, he headed back out to his planning session.

When Ben and Jamie returned from looking over the herd, they sat down with Adam, Joe, and Candy to finish planning the drive by discussing supplies they would need, how many men to take, how many horses, and how much cash to carry. The possibility of using a second wagon was discussed because of the lack of grazing they might have in some areas. The cattle could manage to get by for a day or two on lean grazing but there was concern for the effect it would have on the horses who would be working. They could take more than the usual number of horses in the remuda but then they would need another hand or two to work just with the horses. If they took a wagon with extra feed, then they would only need one more man and two horses to pull the wagon. Adam opted for the extra wagon and the others agreed. The amount of cash on the drive would be larger than usual too because there were those who fenced now and if they would accept a reasonable payment, then that is what was done. It was faster and more efficient than getting law enforcement involved which they would only do if the people who had erected a barrier demanded an exorbitant fee or refused them passage. Joe was going to have to hire a few more men, and he and Candy would head to town to do that after lunch. With that agreed upon, they were through planning. Next they would begin preparations.

With the death of Hoss, Ben had become even more concerned with the safety of his other sons. It had been terribly difficult to bury a son. It had been Joe's steadfast presence and the hope that someday Adam might return that had helped him through those first months of terrible loss and loneliness. Now although he had the greatest confidence in his sons, he worried about the unknown. Ben was also concerned with the relationship between Adam and Joe. They had been bickering a bit this past week but primarily about Adam agreeing to boss the trail drive. Now that he had agreed to do it, would they continue their harmonious relationship or revert to their old contentious relationship? He hoped not but feared the two brothers would have to work out a new working relationship. The difference in ages was not so important any longer because both now had knowledge and experience and both had been boss. But the two working as equals was a relatively new experience and although had worked together well so far, it had not been on something as pressure packed as a trail drive. He would pray for them and wait and see. It was all he could do.

Not only would Ben be worrying, Grace was already worried. She knew Adam needed to do this, but he also needed to be successful in doing it. She had felt the tension in him already. He would be on edge for the whole drive probably. He would be tested by circumstances and by the men he worked with. She had confidence he was ready for that but couldn't help but worry. A cattle drive was a dangerous place and many things could go wrong that no amount of preparation or planning could stop. She wished now that the men had not been bringing those things up in the past week as they anticipated the drive. She might be the one with bad dreams until everyone returned safely.

Down at the horse corrals, Joe had suggested some horses to Adam for his extra rides on the drive and he was trying them out. He picked two and thanked Joe for the suggestions. Adam had a list of items to go over with Cookie for the chuck wagon and the extra supply wagon as Joe continued to make selections for the remuda. So far there had been a neat division of labor so there were no problems. Candy was working with the hands to cut out the cows they were taking and moving them to a far western pasture. They should be ready to go in just a few days if the weather held. Each of those days, Adam met with Joe and Candy to discuss what needed to be accomplished that day, and then they met again at the end of the day to evaluate their progress. They were establishing a routine for the drive, and the hands seeing the three work together like that had confidence that the drive would run smoothly.

Very few hands had been there long enough to remember the feuding brothers so had no reason to be concerned. Candy had not witnessed it either but had heard many stories from Hoss over the years he had worked with him. Therefore, Candy was alert to any signals that the two brothers might be slipping toward an argument but had seen nothing to worry him.

Very soon it seemed to everyone, they met one last time together on the night before the drive would begin. Hop Sing made a feast including as many of the favorites of Adam, Joe, and Candy as he could. Adam noted how well Grace was eating. He was relieved because he was leaving her for four weeks and had worried about her. Apparently, her recuperation was proceeding very well, and he knew Hop Sing would make sure she continued to have the best of care. He had already asked his father to take her into town to visit her shop soon. She wanted to start working and the doctor had told her she could start light work. Sewing would qualify as long as she didn't put in too many hours. After dinner, Adam asked Grace to walk outside with him which got all sorts of comment from the other men at the table.

"You're just jealous. Now if you don't mind, I would like to have a little private time with my wife."

On the way out the door, Adam grabbed two small packages from the credenza by the door. Outside, he walked Grace to a chair and pulled her down into his lap. He hugged her and kissed her.

"If this is what you wanted to do, we could have gone up to the bedroom. It is a little early though."

"Exactly, my love. No, I just wanted as much time with you as I could get before we leave. Now is there anything I can do for you before I leave tomorrow?"

"Adam, I thought I just told you that. I don't have to spell it out, do I?"

Adam shook his head and chuckled. Less and less now, she was having that fear response and as that had diminished, her passion and desire had increased. Their intimate life was very pleasurable and satisfying. Adam picked up the two packages where he had dropped them next to the chair and handed them to Grace. She opened the first one to find a journal with a leather cover embossed with the Ponderosa brand.

"We won't be able to talk. I want you to have a journal to record your thoughts. When I get back, you can decide if you want me to read any of it or keep it just for yourself. I find journaling helps when I feel there's something I have to say and there's no one I can say it to."

"Thank you so much. It's beautiful. I will leave it by the bed because at night when you're not there will be the time I most likely will need it."

Then Grace opened the second package and found a smaller journal with a green leather cover. She looked at Adam quizzically wondering at the duplication.

"I have been trying not to visualize a house to build for us until I have some input from you on what you would like. In this journal, I would like you to write down any ideas for things you want in our home no matter how much of a dream you may think it is. When we get back, we can discuss your ideas and then I'll show you mine."

With a good imitation of how a man might leer at a woman, Grace delivered her response. "Well I like how that sounds."

"I mean about the house."

"I meant the house too. What did you think I meant?"

Adam started tickling her then because she was teasing him. Their laughter could be heard inside. Everyone was relieved to know that the two of them were in such good spirits before the first long separation they would have to endure especially after Grace being wounded just less than a month earlier and expecting a baby.

Chapter 3

Early the next morning with just a hint of dawn, Adam was going to get up and dress. Grace asked him to stay with her and snuggle just a bit. Snuggling turned into a bit more, and it was quite a bit later that Adam hurried down the stairs, made a breakfast sandwich with egg, bacon, and a biscuit and went out to the stable to meet Joe and Candy. He had a sheepish grin, and they smiled as they mounted up and headed out. A short time later, Adam came riding up behind them and the drive officially got under way. Fences were opened and the cattle driven through. After they left, Jamie had a crew who would put the fence line back in place.

The weather held for the first few days and then the heavens opened up with deluge after deluge. The swollen streams and muddy conditions that they frequently encountered cost them a number of days. After two weeks, they were nearly a week behind schedule because almost everything took twice as long as they had planned. Two hands were injured trying to free some cows caught behind deadfall that had been pushed into the stream by a mudslide. The injuries were not serious but both could no longer do their jobs and were sent back to the Ponderosa. Joe went to the nearest town to hire two more men. When they got back to the herd, those two seemed to know two others who had been hired in Virginia City for the drive.

"Joe, I think I may have seen those two before in Virginia City."

Candy's comment immediately got Adam's attention.

"Then what would they be doing here. It's way out of the normal travel routes, and in this weather, it would have been difficult to get here too. Joe, this stinks a bit. Those two might be up to something, and how well do we know the two they seem to know?"

"You've always been suspicious of people you didn't know. Adam, we needed two drovers and I got two drovers. Let's not make a big deal out of this."

"Joe, did you hear what Candy said. Something isn't right about this."

"Do you hear yourself? Really? You're convicting them of a crime, and they haven't done anything except look like two men Candy saw in Virginia City. So what? Adam, bossing the drive doesn't mean interfering in every little thing I do. Now, if you'll excuse me, I could use a hot cup of coffee before I get back to work."

Adam rubbed the back of his neck and looked at Candy.

"Watch those four for me, will ya?"

"Sure thing. Don't get too upset about all this. Joe's just irritable because of the weather. He'll be fine once he gets a chance to calm down. We can talk again tonight after dinner."

Adam nodded at Candy. He was irritable too and had done everything he could to hold the line on his temper with Joe. He couldn't let himself get into a big argument with his brother especially one that could escalate into a fight. It wouldn't be good for the drive, and it would be even worse for their relationship. So he swallowed his anger and mounted up to ride out to see if all the conditions warranted any changes in their plans. Finding no immediate problems, he decided to ride a ahead to see what conditions they would face the next day. What he saw bothered him a great deal. He also felt the hairs on his neck stand up as he rode, and Cloud Dancer was fidgeting every time he stopped to survey the area. He never saw anyone but felt he was being watched.

When Adam got back to the camp, he pulled the maps out of the tube in which they were stored. He spread them out on the back gate of the wagon that could be lowered to function as a table. What he saw was encouraging. There was an alternate route. It was almost twice as long but looked like they could avoid some of the most treacherous terrain so they wouldn't lose much time if any. He got a pencil and started drawing out a route they could follow if they veered off that way the following day. If they didn't, they would miss the opportunity and would have to contend with similar conditions until they reached the western downslope of the mountains where he assumed that the rains were lighter if it was raining at all. When Joe got back he showed him the alternate route.

"Adam, we're going to lose even more time. We're really behind schedule already. We can't afford more delays."

"Joe, this route widens out a lot more. We'll be able to move faster, and there's no likelihood of mudslides either. We may lose a little time but maybe none at all with the faster pace."

"I don't like it. We had a plan that all three of us agreed on. Unless you're going to throw your weight around and force this on us."

Candy walked up for the last part of Joe's statement because although phrased like a question it was a challenge statement. Several of the men were close enough to hear the argument. One added in his idea that the other route was an unknown because no one ever went that way. That hand was one of the new men, and Adam wondered how he came by that knowledge. Candy wasn't sure which route would be better. Adam and Joe repeated their reasons but it didn't help him.

"Seems like the old six of one, half dozen of another. Course I haven't seen the problems up ahead like Adam has and that could make a difference. Trusting his judgment, maybe we ought to go the other way, Joe."

"No, he's just guessing. Several more of the hands voiced their support for Joe. Adam knew he had to back down or risk a fight with his brother. Against his better judgment, he acquiesced. Candy heard how he said it and knew he didn't believe they were doing the right thing. Candy was leaning more and more toward Adam's viewpoint the more he thought about it, but Joe was so riled there was no point in continuing this discussion at that time. Joe stomped off to get his dinner. Candy stayed next to Adam.

"Did you notice which hands were backing Joe?"

"Yeah, Candy, I did. Why do you suppose it's so important to them which way we go? I felt like someone was watching me out there today. I was going to dismiss the idea, but now I'm not so sure that's a good idea. Keep a close eye on all four of those new hands. Alert some of our regular hands that you can trust to keep quiet and have them watch them too."

At Candy's look, Adam felt he had to add more.

"I know it's Joe's job, but you know I can't talk to him about this right now, and those men might be up to something. If they do nothing, then I was worrying for nothing, but I like to be prepared for all contingencies."

"All right, boss, but if Joe asks about it, I'll be honest with him."

"Wouldn't expect anything else from you, Candy."

The next morning, Joe was up earlier than usual and had the men moving the cattle before Adam could make an attempt to change his mind. It was obvious to everyone what had happened. Joe had now undermined Adam's authority and taken over bossing the drive. Once the cattle were on the move, Adam rode up beside Joe.

"There's really just one thing I want to know, Joe. If you didn't want me to boss this drive, why did you try so hard to make me take the job?"

"Maybe I thought it would be good for you. Maybe I thought you would try to work with me. I just didn't know you would try to make such a mess of it."

"So that's how it's going to be? Joe, when we get back to the Ponderosa, I'll be moving to town with Grace. We have her house there. I'll find other things to do. I don't want to fight with you, and it seems that's where we're headed. If having me around is such a problem for you, then I need to be somewhere else."

With that, Adam wheeled his horse and rode out to the side of the herd and then headed to the front. He had let his temper do his talking. He needed to cool down before he made things even worse. Because he wanted to see if the problems he had anticipated would create any serious problems riding by himself out ahead of the herd would help. Candy rode over to where Joe was to ask what that conversation had been about.

"Adam's going to leave the Ponderosa. He's moving to town with Grace. It's gonna kill Pa, and Adam's going to lay this whole thing on me."

"No, he won't. But he should."

"So you're taking up with his side now? I thought we were friends."

"We are. But you wanted Adam to boss this drive as long as his decisions were the ones you would make. As soon as he disagreed with you, you backed him into this corner. He could be the boss and hurt his relationship with you cause you know you would probably have poked him if he tried to do it his way. Or, he could go along with what you wanted and lose his standing with the men. He chose you. He was never trying to take your place. He was just trying to find his way."

Candy left Joe stewing over what he had said and didn't wait for Joe to say anything. He knew how Joe's temper burned hot and then cooled fast. He would consider what Candy had said and hopefully make an overture to his brother if it wasn't too late to make things right between them. Joe had been running the Ponderosa for quite a while and seemed to take Adam's presence as a threat to his status. Maybe this would make him see that his brother wanted to work beside him not take his place. Joe too had had a tough year and a half. He had lost Hoss, lost Alice and his unborn baby, and had to be there to hold up his father who had suffered terribly in his life and was almost undone by the death of his son.

Riding alongside the herd, Candy was thinking that Joe needed to realize that he should take some time to work out his differences with his brother and not expect everything to be fine just because he wanted it to be. Perhaps Adam's marriage and the baby that was expected had opened old wounds of Joe's as well. It must be hard for him to see how happy Adam and Grace were and how happy everyone in the family was because there was a baby on the way.

Lost in thought, Joe never saw two of the hands slip away into the trees up the slope from where he was riding. Things were going smoothly and Adam's fears seemed to be unjustified. Then suddenly there were shots fired. Joe kicked his pony into a run but the cattle started running too. He would never be able to get to the head of the herd and turn them. All he could do was yell.

"Stampede, stampede!"

Well up ahead, Adam had heard the shots and turned to race back toward the herd. He saw a man on the slope about to fire shots, and he yelled at him to stop. The man turned and it was one of the hands he had suspected of being up to something. Now he had a very good idea of what that was. When the man leveled his pistol in Adam's direction, Adam took aim and fired. The man dropped his pistol and rode slumped over toward the trees. Adam headed deeper into the valley to intercept the lead cows and try to turn them. This was a dangerous thing to try but the only hope left if this was to be a successful drive. He rode with the lead animals and began to slowly turn them to his right. After turning and turning, he had the lead animals heading directly back at those charging toward him. There were some collisions and undoubtedly there would be losses but soon there were only milling and mooing cattle jammed together with hardly any room to move.

When Adam saw a number of hands arriving, he rode to where he thought the wounded man had gone. Once Candy and Joe got there, they took charge of getting the herd fully under control. Knowing that Adam had been the one to turn the herd, they asked where he was, and the men pointed up the slope in the direction he had gone. As Candy and Joe rode in that direction, they heard gunfire. They kicked the horses into a gallop and as they neared the trees, Adam rode out very slowly on his horse. Suddenly the horse toppled to the ground and Adam went down with his horse. Joe sped up as much as the terrain would allow. He got to Adam's side as his brother was trying to sit up.

"Are you hurt? What happened?"

"After I turned the herd and some of the men got here, I headed off to follow the men who did this. It was the four hands we suspected. One of them was wounded and the other three stopped to help him. I didn't expect that. I didn't think it through. I just didn't want him to get away."

Joe went to help Adam get up from where he had landed, and when his hand felt wet he looked down at it.

"Adam, you're hurt."

"Joe, it's not too bad."

"You're bleeding all over my hand, so it's bad enough. Here, sit back down."

Joe pulled Adam's vest off and saw him grimace with pain. Once he got a good look at the wound, it appeared the bullet that got him had hit the shoulder blade. The wound was shallow and the bullet would be easily removed. It was a painful injury even if it was not life threatening. They would need to get him cleaned up, and he probably wouldn't be able to ride for the rest of the drive. Both Joe and Adam jumped at the sound of a gunshot but looked up to see a steely look from Candy who had just mercifully ended Adam's pony's life. The animal had been far too badly injured to attempt to save.

"Candy, would you ride back and get the herd started, and get the wagons sent this way? We'll wait right here until they get here. Adam, what about the four hands who did all this?"

"I shot at all four. I know I hit at least one of them, and the one who started the stampede I shot earlier. Don't know about the other two."

"Well, we can't look for them now. We'll alert the authorities in the next town. You were right, you know, about everything. Those four were up to no good right from the start. We should have gone the other way too. We couldn't even get up here to turn the herd to stop the stampede because it was too narrow. If you hadn't been up here, we could have lost most of the herd. I'm really sorry for how I acted and what I said. I hope you can forgive me."

"Of course I can. You're my brother."

"So you'll stay on the Ponderosa?"

"I don't know. I don't want any more confrontations like that. I want to be able to see my brother without having to worry about arguing and fighting."

Joe was pressing a wad of cloth against the wound as they were talking. Adam started to feel light-headed.

"I think I'm going to be sick. Can you help me turn?"

Breakfast came up, and when Adam had stopped retching, Joe handed him the canteen to rinse his mouth. Adam was looking very pale so Joe pulled him back and had him lie back against the saddle Candy had removed from the pony. Within about a minute, Adam's eyes closed and he was asleep.

There were a lot of things that Joe now wanted to talk about with Adam but they would have to wait. The herd had been saved; the four troublemakers were gone, and the drive should be a success because within a few days they would clear these mountain passes and be in open grasslands and meadows close to their destination. They would be shorthanded until they reached the next town and could hire some temporary help but at least in these mountains, the cattle didn't find too many places to wander off.

Chapter 4

When they made camp that night, the talk among the hands was about Adam. The men had decided that they had misjudged him. He had turned the herd by himself without getting killed which was an amazing feat in their eyes. That it was a foolhardy risk was not something that they considered. Results mattered out here. Then he had ridden after the men who did it and wounded one or more of them before being shot himself as he rode away. The men who drove the wagons had been there when the bullet was removed and said he didn't do anything except groan. Then he refused the laudanum and only asked to be allowed to rest in the back of the supply wagon. There was respect now for the trail boss as well as concern for him. The men liked and respected Joe too so they hoped the two brothers could work out their differences.

It did look like that was happening as a very pale Adam was sitting on a chair by the wagon discussing the drive with Candy and Joe. Adam said he would take the supply wagon the next day and go into the little town up ahead. He would see about hiring a few men for a week or so and refresh their supplies as well. The men were tiring of bacon and beans although because of losses from the stampede, they did have beef with every meal if they wanted it. Joe was going to argue that he shouldn't but held back. Candy noted he tensed up and then relaxed, and he smiled to himself that Joe did a good job with that. Of course, Adam probably shouldn't go into town to do this the day after being shot even if it was a minor wound, but they were shorthanded and having him do this would help a great deal. Candy agreed he would scout ahead to anticipate any problems they had, and Joe would pick up any of the other duties he could for Adam. Adam would do any paperwork or anything else he could do from the wagon. Any movement of his left arm caused pain to shoot down his back and down his arm. He would have to drive the wagon with one hand. He had done it before and mostly it meant going fairly slowly, but he had all day to get the job done. The regular driver had been drafted into trail duty.

Joe walked over to the wagon the next morning before Adam left.

"I wish we had a chance to talk. You know I'm really sorry for those things I said. I got it in my head that you were questioning what I was doing with the hiring and with the men, and I let it affect how I thought about everything else. I don't know why but working with you always seems to bring out the worst in me. I want to impress you, to show you how good I am at something, and it goes the other way too often."

Adam took some time before answering. Joe knew that meant he was trying to be sure to word it just the way he wanted.

"Joe, you don't have to try to impress me. You're a strong man with a lot of talents and you ran the Ponderosa for years now. All I want if for us to work together and not fight. Can we work on that?"

Joe gave Adam one of his cheeky grins before answering.

"We already are, aren't we?"

Adam shook his head and picked up the reins as he reached with the same hand to pull back on the brake to release it.

"Take it easy now. I don't want to face Grace if you get hurt again. Just this is gonna be enough to get me a glare or two."

"Don't worry. I don't plan any heroics. If it gets too late, I'll stay in town and try to catch up to you tomorrow."

The herd moved well that day and by that night they had found a very nice place to camp. The sky was clear and the cattle were calm. Adam had not returned yet, but four men rode in as camp was being set up.

"Hey, you men get hired by an old guy all dressed in black?"

"Yessir, he said to talk to his brother and tell him he hired us. Then we was to tell ya where he is."

"Where he is? Isn't he just resting in town?"

"Well, I guess you could say he's resting. He got himself arrested. Told us where to find you and said to see if you would go see about getting him out of jail."

Joe started to laugh, and Candy had a big grin too.

"So what did my serious, law abiding older brother do to get himself locked up?"

"Well he saw some men in town and held a gun on those two and took them to the sheriff. He said they caused a stampede probably to try to rustle the herd or a big chunk of it. When they got to the sheriff's office, the sheriff arrested him instead for shooting the two who had been with them. Turns out one of the men he shot was the sheriff's son, and he's darned mad about it."

"But they broke the law and shot Adam in the back! Damn it! Candy, will you come with me. We gotta get this straightened out. By the way, how do you know so much about what went on in the sheriff's office?"

"We saw him get arrested and Jake and me went to see if we still had this job. He said we did and sent us here to explain everything to you."

Candy had two men go saddle up horses for them.

"Joe, maybe we better take a couple extra men with us. These little towns sometimes have their own version of what the law is. We might need some help."

As Joe nodded his head, Candy went to tell a few of the men what happened and to get some volunteers to ride with them. They all wanted to go but some had to stay with the herd. Candy picked a few of the men who had cool heads under pressure and told them to get saddled up. After an hour of hard riding, they could see the town. Joe told the other men to split up and ride slowly to town and stay as much out of sight as possible. He and Candy would ride ahead and go to the jail. Joe left them with instructions that if there was trouble, they could help, but otherwise they should stay out of everything. Once in town, Joe and Candy headed directly for the sheriff's office. He took their guns before allowing them next to the cell to talk with Adam.

"Well, brother, looks like another mess you got yourself into. What am I gonna tell Pa this time?"

Joe kept his smile until he heard his brother cough and saw him struggle just to sit up.

"What happened to you?"

"The sheriff will tell you I resisted arrest, I'm sure. All I did was question how I could be the one shot in the back but ended up arrested while the ones who broke the law were walking around free. He didn't like my question."

"We'll get you outta here, don't worry. The telegraph office is open yet and we'll send for a lawyer. Pa will want to be here too."

"That may not be enough. They have a trial scheduled for tomorrow. Oh, did I tell you that that Sheriff Dill also acts as judge when they have a trial? And the schoolteacher is my defense lawyer?"

Candy put his hand on Joe's shoulder to remind him to keep his cool. Joe took a deep breath and whispered to Adam.

"We'll take care of things." And in a louder voice. "Well we'll be there for this so-called trial. You need anything?"

"No, I'll just try to sleep although this drafty window makes it a bit cool in here."

The sheriff walked over and shoved a blanket through the bars. Joe shook his head slightly for yes because he had gotten the message about the window. If anything happened, Adam wanted a chance to protect himself. Joe and Candy said their goodbyes and headed over to the telegraph office. The Cartwrights had good standing here in California too. Joe was going to send a couple of messages to try to get some help before Adam faced this kangaroo court. He wrote out his message and the operator began tapping the keys when Candy slammed his hand down over the operator's.

"He's not sending your message. He's tapping out gibberish."

Joe pulled his gun and ordered the operator out of his seat. There was a closet in the office that Joe opened. There was plenty of room in there so he ordered the man in and then jammed a chair under the handle. For good measure, he and Candy slid a large cabinet in front of the door too. Then Candy sat down and sent the messages they wanted sent and a few extra because it was free. As the two men left the telegraph office, a young woman approached them.

"You need to get your man out of that jail tonight."

"We should have some help here tomorrow. He'll be fine. Why are you so concerned anyway?"

"Two of those men he hired are my brothers. We really needed the money, and he promised they could each take a steer back with them too. Our family needed the help, and he's a stranger, but he's the one who helped. Now there's talk of a lynching. Those two men he tried to arrest are over in the saloon trying to get a lynch mob going. They want him dead before any marshal gets here. What they tried to do to you, they done before. There just never were enough proof. Everyone knows your brother would be enough proof. A jury'd believe a Cartwright."

"Thanks. What's your name?"

"Marcy. Jake and Mike are my brothers. A couple of their friends was the other two he hired. They're good men. They'll work hard for ya."

"You go home now. We'll take care of this."

Candy had been looking around and when Marcy left, he told Joe their men appeared to down next to the livery stable. Walking there as if to put their horses up for the night, the two men watched carefully. It appeared they were not under observation. After putting their horses in the stable but telling the stableman only to water them and give them some grain, they walked out the back of the livery to be met by the four men who had ridden with them. Joe gave them instructions and then he and Candy left to take up positions and watch. They didn't have to wait long before a rowdy mob rolled out of the saloon. It looked to be about ten men. Joe ran across to the window on Adam's cell to drop in a pistol, but what he heard from inside led to a rapid change in plans. He raced around the building to the front door calling for Candy to join him.

Sheriff Dill was doing his best to beat Adam into submission. Because Adam only had one arm to use effectively in his defense, Dill would have been successful. Hearing Joe's pistol cock next to his head made him pause however.

"You touch him again, and your brains will be decorating this cell."

Adam pulled away from Dill's grasp. His nose was bleeding, he had a split lip, and he was going to be sporting some nasty bruises, but no serious damage had been done. Joe handed him a pistol. Candy had already barred the front door.

"Really, Joe! 'Your brains will be decorating this cell'. You have been reading far too many of those dime novels again."

"Well it worked, didn't it? Besides I always wanted to say something like that. There's a necktie party on its way to honor you. We assumed you would prefer not to join them. But now we're pinned down here with no rear exit and about ten armed men out front. We have a few men ready to help but I can't see us getting out of here soon. I told our guys not to kill anyone unless they were trying to kill us."

There was gunfire outside and a lot of yelling. Joe looked at Adam to explain.

"I think our helpers just decided it was time to draw a line. We hold this side of the street and they've got the other. We can't cross the street to get to our horses in the livery, and they can't cross the street to get to you."

It was the classic standoff. How it would end would take hours to determine. Demands and threats were yelled at the jail periodically throughout the night. Neither side could sleep nor gain an advantage. The sheriff kept up a nonstop barrage of accusations and threats from the cell where he was locked up until Joe told him he would get the same treatment as Adam had received if he didn't shut up. Adam tried to sleep but yelling and occasional gun shots ended any naps he managed to get. Candy walked close to Joe so he wouldn't be overheard.

"Even if we get out of here, he can't ride in the shape he's in. We'll need our wagon and I don't know how we'll keep ahead of anybody that way."

"Then let's hope one of those messages you sent gets through and help is on the way."

At dawn, the impasse was still sputtering along. Occasional threats were made and gunfire followed those, but nothing else happened. The men who wanted to lynch Adam did have the advantage of the saloon and restaurant being right behind them. The smells of their breakfast blew across the street making Adam's defenders even hungrier. The sound of a number of horses arriving about ten made Joe smile and the sheriff chortle when he stood and looked out the window to see a cavalry detachment.

"You boys are in a world of trouble now. You're all gonna end up in this cell."

Candy unbolted the door and opened it for the cavalry colonel and his junior officers. Joe stood and walked to stand next to the colonel.

"Good day, Colonel Hawkins. Sure hope you liked that big stallion with the stockings I sent in the last batch. He had officer's mount written all over him."

"He is the pride of the command. I have never had such a beautiful animal for parade. But I have to tell you, Joe, that is one stupid horse. I never take him out on patrol or maneuvers. He just isn't good in the field. But he is still one beautiful horse, and I love having him. He really loves to show off. Now do you want to tell me what's been going on here?"

Chapter 5

As the colonel sat at the sheriff's desk and occasionally asked questions, his clerk recorded Adam's statement and then Joe's. Candy was questioned next, and then the colonel had his soldiers try to locate the Marcy they had met. Everyone outside had been disarmed. The two identified by Adam as perpetrators were sitting in a cell with Sheriff Dill. Other soldiers were sent to find the two wounded men and place them in custody. The colonel had declared martial law shortly after arriving and finding what had been happening in this little town. Marcy came in to testify which opened up a floodgate of people willing to testify against the sheriff, his son, and the three others who worked with them. On the sheriff's bunk in his office, Adam sat next to Joe and leaned over to rest his head on Joe's shoulder. Joe choked up when he did it. He had seen Adam do that a number of times to Hoss. When Adam was troubled or hurt, it had always been Hoss he had leaned on for support.

"Colonel, did the surgeon come with you as I requested?"

"Yes, Joe. Would you like him to take a look at your brother now?"

Nodding yes, Joe slipped out from under Adam's weight and slowly lowered his sleeping brother to the cot. Then he picked up his legs and carefully lifted them on to the cot before covering him with a blanket. As he waited for the doctor to examine Adam to be sure he was fit to travel, he pulled up a chair and sat at his brother's side. After the doctor's exam through which Adam had only been half awake, Joe asked if he could travel.

"Normally I would say the man needs a week in bed resting. But I've heard a few tales of the Cartwrights from the Colonel. He has to have at least a day of rest. Tomorrow, he could ride in a wagon if you take it easy."

"Don't worry, doc, I'll make sure he rests."

"Joe, you need to get the herd moving."

"Adam, you're more important than that herd. The herd can wait."

"Leave one of the other men here. He can drive the wagon and get me back to the herd in two days."

"Who's going to take care of you? You can barely sit up."

"Sir, with my brothers working for you, I could do it. He could stay at our house. It's not big and fancy, but we got a bed for him and I would cook for him."

So Adam and one of the hands stayed at Marcy's house until the next day. Adam had a chance to talk with her in the morning. By the time he left, she had some serious decisions to make. The wagon trip back to the herd was far harder than Adam had thought it would be, and much harder than he was going to admit to Joe. Of course as soon as Joe saw him, he knew. He didn't embarrass Adam by pointing out his weakness though. Instead he offered a shoulder to lean on as Adam made his way to the chuckwagon. He was greeted by the men there who curbed their enthusiasm when they saw how ill he looked. Normally someone riding back in like this would get a few slaps on the back. If they had done it, Adam would have ended up flat on the ground. He settled down next to the wheel of the wagon and Joe sat next to him telling him what they had done so far since he had been gone. The four new hands were hard workers which made it easier for Adam to suggest to Joe that they hire them to come back to the ranch. Adam knew he owed those young men his life and Joe understood that as well. They agreed to make the offer at the end of the drive and let the four decide what they wanted to do.

Two weeks later, Adam was driving the wagon up to the Ponderosa ranch house. Marcy was on the seat beside him chattering away about the beauty of the ranch and the house. He hardly heard a word she said as he focused on the ranch house in the distance. As they drew closer, Marcy realized they were going faster and smiled at the excitement Adam had for the reunion with his wife. As they drove into the yard, Ben, Grace, and Jamie came outside to greet them. Candy and Joe and the hands had caught up to them so the reunion was complete. Adam was smiling as he climbed down from the wagon, but Grace had lost her giant grin and was smiling only a little as she had seen Marcy on the seat of the wagon with Adam. Adam wrapped Grace in his arms and bent down to kiss her but got a peck instead of the kiss he expected. He frowned a little and then wondered if her pregnancy had made her feel unwell.

"Are you feeling all right, sweetheart? You seem a little pale."

"I'm fine. Who's your new friend?"

"Grace, this is Marcy and her brother Jake and her brother Mike. They're going to be working for us now."

Joe realized that Grace was a little jealous so he tried to help Adam.

"Yeah, Marcy took care of Adam when he was hurt. Without her and her brothers, you'd be after me with a shotgun right about now."

Ignoring all the warning signs from Adam, Joe kept going.

"Yup, once we got him out of jail and that Army surgeon patched up that bullet wound really well, Marcy was good enough to let him sleep in a bed at her house overnight. Her brothers and friends are really hard workers, so we invited them to work for us, and they agreed. Isn't that great?"

With his chin dropped to his chest, Adam was rubbing the back of his neck. When Joe finally ran out of steam, Adam just said a simple 'Thanks, Joe' and grimaced. Grace said a cool "I'll see you inside.' and turned on her heel and walked into the house.

Ben turned to his son with only sympathy in his expression.

"Son, remember what I said about pregnant women being emotional and sensitive and sometimes downright unreasonable?"

Adam nodded. He remembered telling his father that he had seen none of that in Grace.

"Well, son, you said you hadn't seen any of that in Grace. Now you have. All I can say is, good luck!"

Adam found Grace in their bedroom getting clean clothes for him from the dresser. He closed the door and walked up behind her putting his hands on her shoulders.

"Do you want to tell me what's bothering you?"

"I'm fine."

"No, of course you're not. You're upset with me. I should have let you know that Marcy was coming home with us."

"You should have let me know you got hurt too! I got two telegrams from you and they both said you were fine. Now I find out you were shot, you were in jail, and, and, …"

"There is nothing else. I was fine when I sent those two messages. When I was hurt, I was in no shape to send a message. I was back with the herd on the trail before I found out that Joe never let the family know what had happened. By the time I was in another town, I was fine again. There was no reason to worry you about something that was already done."

"Marcy is very pretty."

"Yes, she is. I think Joe is smitten, but I don't think Marcy has noticed how he looks at her."

"Joe?"

"For me, there is only you. I am smitten with you. I thought of you constantly. Sometimes it was hard to do my work because I was thinking about you. I love you, Grace."

Adam turned Grace toward him and started to unbutton her dress. She looked up to him and saw only love and desire. She slid her hands around him and looked up. She wanted a kiss and she wasn't disappointed. Adam kissed her with all the pent up passion of the past six weeks. He finally released her to catch his breath. Then she started to cry.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?"

"I don't deserve you. All you wanted was a kiss when you got home, and I didn't kiss you. I'm so sorry."

"Love, it kinda makes me feel good to know you would be jealous. You really care, don't you?"

"I love you so much. I missed you terribly. I kept your shirt, the one you wore the day before you left. I didn't wash it. It reminded me of you. I would cry at night sometimes because I missed you so."

Grace pulled back the blanket on the bed and there was the red shirt he had worn the day before the drive started. As he pulled her to him for another kiss, Adam smiled down at her.

"You didn't kiss me to welcome me home, but there's an even better way to welcome me back if you want."

Grace didn't need a second invitation. She began unbuttoning his shirt as he continued to unbutton her dress. They reaffirmed their love in the most ancient of ways. Afterwards, as Grace lay in his arms, she had another question.

"Why did you bring Marcy home with you?"

"She's a good cook, she kept a very clean little house, she has experience taking care of chickens and a garden, and she can milk a cow. In about six months now, you are going to be very busy trying to care for our baby and keep your business going. Marcy is going to be our nanny, housekeeper, and cook if you'll let her."

"Oh my goodness, you did that for me." And Grace started crying again. Adam just held her close. Later he would have to share the details of what happened on the drive, but for now, just holding her and comforting her was all he had to do. He would tell her he was grateful that she had pushed him to trail boss the drive. It had made him feel stronger and had forced Joe and him to face the issues between them. They had talked, really talked, about things that were important to them and things that worried them. They talked of their hopes and their dreams. By the end of the drive, they were closer than they had ever been because they had given each other trust. Everything else in a relationship was based on that. Adam felt like he was finally back home. He felt whole again.


End file.
